dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
