I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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