i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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