theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
