I forgot how hot balto sounded
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
They have beer where we have blood.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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