White coat. Heels.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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