A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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