you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There r osticjed everywhere
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
