The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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