I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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