She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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