this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
