There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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