Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
