Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
