I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
