We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
