I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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