Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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