I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
