Can i not drive my cunt home
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
There's even glitter on my cock...
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