i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
