He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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