By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
