So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
