Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So much Jack, so little girl.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
