do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
