shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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