i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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