That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
