So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
