Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he was CRYING into my vagina
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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