Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
