We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
