You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
