I hate your face
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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