im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize