i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
please don't ironically join a cult
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