thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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