I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
