brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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