out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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