I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
