I need help removing her.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Randomize
