I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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