But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
