would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
