yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Panties = found
Randomize
