ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
