Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

She looked kinda like Mario Batali?

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(314): View more from Missouri

Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.

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(233): View more from

I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love

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