More tranny stories later!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
