I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
