I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
