i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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