There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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