Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize