then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize