yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize