Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
