we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
