I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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