I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
