IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
