I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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