Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
