i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
