i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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