i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
