People in love make me want to vomit
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
