you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Let's paint friendship bongs
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
What a dumb baby whore.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
